I used to think family was made in the big, shimmering moments; weddings, holidays, and homecomings. And some of it is. But more and more, I am learning that family gets built on the quiet Sunday nights, in mismatched socks, after dinner conversations, and shared Netflix passwords.

“I had thought that we became a family the day we were married. What I have found, though, is that the web starts as just one fine filament on that day… and spins and spins around us as life presents itself to us day by day”

Shauna Niequist, Celebrate Everyday

Yes. That.

I thought we became a family when we said “I do.” But it turns out, we really became a family that summer after Lily was born, when I spent days and nights in the intensive care unit. When my body was broken and healing, and Chad held our new baby and stayed by my side, anchoring us with his quiet presence. That’s when we learned what it meant to carry each other. Family got built when we moved across the country and clung to each other when nothing else felt familiar. It’s the big moves and the tiny, loyal gestures—like how Chad always fills up my car before a road trip, or how I leave the extra toppings off Lily’s food because she just wants it plain.

Shauna writes, “Family gets made when the world becomes strange and disorienting, and the only face you recognize is his” (Niequist, 2024, p. 14). We lived that truth in 2020, when the world shut down and the walls of our home held every emotion we could not escape. We took long walks. We cried in corners, laughed at ridiculous things, and made extraordinary meals. That was the season when my love of all things food was born. When cooking became more than a task; it became joy, creativity, and comfort. It gave our days rhythm and our home warmth. And somehow, through all of it, we kept choosing each other. That’s what made us a family: not the titles, but the turning toward one another when everything else turned upside down.

So today, I’m sitting with this question:
What big or little moments have built my sense of family?

And I’m asking you to sit with it, too. What are the threads that quietly spin and stitch your people together? What felt small at the time, but now feels foundational?

This is how we become family.
Not all at once. But moment by moment.

Gracefully yours,

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Reference
Niequist, S. (2024). Celebrate Every Day. Zondervan.